Good Examples Versus Onions and Shoes

Adults should present good examples for children, but this was not always easy in Brooklyn 3, where there was so much reality.

Missing Mass on Sunday was a mortal sin. In our house, everybody went, every week. But not all families went, particularly not all fathers.

Some fathers got migraine headaches a lot. It was practically epidemic on Sunday mornings. It was transmitted by bottles the night before.

Most women didn't drive, so if the fathers didn't go, nobody went, although some kids with compelling fear of Hell would walk it, if they were old enough. If the mother had a baby, or babies, walking was out, unless the mother had a notion to shame the father, which of course could be as compelling as avoiding Hell.

You weren't supposed to curse, or take the Lord's name in vain, and this never happened in our house; our parents were good communicators, and could express bad feelings without vulgarity.

But this was not common, and even good kids learned powerful lexicons, and creative ways to use them.

With immigrant grandparents, some kids could curse internationally. We learned the expression "Tre cipolle culo di tuo fratello," or "Three onions up your brother's ass," from Cathy Dimarinis's grandmother. She would say it to people she didn't like, who didn't capish Italian, in a cheery tone of voice, and they would smile and wave.

You weren't supposed to steal, but sometimes the men found things, and would trade them for money, or for things other guys found, such as cartons of cigarettes, frozen meats, and new clothing.

Once, Jamesy Coppola's father actually went to jail for a misunderstanding about selling some shirts he had. The misunderstanding was with the owner of the House of Ivy clothing store on Church Avenue, where Jamesy's father worked.

There was much scorn in the neighborhood for Mr. Coppola being so stupid, getting caught selling some lousy shirts, when the store also stocked nice shoes.

I didn't second-guess the adults. I knew no one was perfect. I also knew not to note too hard what didn't involve me, and especially, not to ask stupid questions about things adults did. You can just as easily learn from bad examples as good.